Moments of reflection

I finished watching "Australia", which was both enjoyable and moving. Sometimes engaging in a well done movie stirs up personal emotions that are tugged at by scenes and relationships in the story. This one is full of adventure, romance, loss, passions of "parenting" and loving. Reflecting on the many changes in my life lately representing losses of varying types and degrees - the emotions are sweeping over me like a wave engulfs one in the ocean. The star of the movie becomes attached like a mother to a young boy, and is forced to let him go and then willingly lets him go, when it is time. She loses a husband, gains, then nearly loses a romance, with much turmoil in the midst of it all.

Losing my father to cancer this summer is the deepest personal loss I've experienced. I miss him. I wish there were more time to talk - like about how I think I'm more like him in many ways than I ever thought. About spiritual things, about life, love, family- just things. I've called my Mom every day since he passed- it keeps me connected and its one thing I can do, being so far away.

My daughter. I miss her. We 'communicate', some phone calls, but mostly through text. I miss having her as a part of my daily life and being a part of hers. I would love to make her a favorite meal once in awhile, or hang out and watch 'girl movies' like "Miss Congeniality" or just listen to her chat about her day or her thoughts. Or 'nurture' her when she's sick.

I miss my job, I just left. I know it is what I needed to do, but I still miss it. Many things about it suited me - perhaps I should have given it another chance, but the decreased hours and responsibility of the new job will allow me time to think, rest and "be".

I miss my sons too. Jer has been out of the house 10 years now - but I so enjoy spending time with him and Liz. Jonny - I really enjoy having him around. It is so great to hear his thoughts and adventures.

Change. It's hard. There are many positive things happening in my life right now, too. But it's important to take the time to feel the loss, both those due to positive and negative changes.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll watch a comedy.:)