Today...

Much on my mind today, but perhaps I shouldn't have read my previous blogs prior to posting this one. It seems to have distracted the train of thought I was on, maybe because it is too similar to my frame of mind when posting other blogs. I think it is time to begin writing more, but whether it will be in the form of blogs, letters, journals, perhaps working toward something more grandeur for me -like a book, I don't know. I do know my life is changing still and I haven't quite got a handle on what the path looks like from here. I have made many adjustments in the past, some of necessity- the birth of a child, loss of a job, move to a new city and some of choice for what seemed to be my own well being- going back to school, changing jobs or churches, seeking new relationships.

Now, I must make changes of necessity- no kids at home, loss of a parent, aging, that could precipitate changes of choice- career, ministry, relationships, habits, location to call home. I guess this is the greatest change of life I've had since becoming a mother 28 years ago. Though there are many passions to pursue in life given the opportunity, I am becoming keenly aware of how very much motherhood has suited me. I just love kids and all that comes with them. I felt 'complete' or 'right' as a mom. Of course, I always knew this day would come and I've had ideas in mind for what I would do with the time for many years. The transition to that picture is not nearly as smooth as I had envisioned. I planned to use the free time for ministry or perhaps yet another career- to pursue things that I was interested in but simply would have taken too much time away from my first, and always foremost, career as 'mom'.

I am grateful for the privilege of raising or 'rearing' (as some insist) my beautiful children, my husband, family, friends who are like family, Jesus, POMH (my body of believers), health, freedom, abundance, choices, and so much more. My journey is changing and taking on new shape and perhaps new destinations. I pray God is laying paths ahead to bring glory to Him in whatever direction I may travel.